Wizarding Standards
by flower gettin' lady
Summary: Ron likes Hermione, but Hermione likes Krum, but first Draco likes Hermione, until he likes Luna, but Luna likes Neville but Neville likes Ginny but Ginny likes Harry but Harry likes Cho but Cho likes Cedric. crack!fic/parody


**A/N: So this is what happened when I went over to a friend's house. And then I was there for dinner and we finished the first chapter.**

**Ginny**

"Oh, Harry, thank you!" Ginny cried, smiling up at her rescuer. "If it hadn't been for you I would have died, falling from that thousand-story building!"

Harry was looking at her like she was the love of his life. Why hadn't he ever seen her that way before? Not that Ginny was complaining.

"Ginny," he began, "How could I live without you? I would never let you die!"

His face was mere centimeters away from her when he spoke again. "Ginny, wake up!"

Since when did Harry sound like a girl?

The entire dream faded in an instant. Hermione stood over Ginny's bed, holding a candle. "Ginny, wake up, we're going to be late."

"I'm up, I'm awake." said Ginny. "Are the boys up?"

"No, I'm going to get them now."

Hermione left; Ginny rolled over and groaned. Normally she'd be excited to go to a Quidditch match, especially the World Cup, but right now she was too sleepy and disappointed that her dream wasn't going to come true. Then again, I could live without the falling-from-a-thousand-story-building-part.

**Draco  
**"Master Draco! Master Draco! MASTER DRACO!"  
"Mitzie, you insolent creature, shut up!"  
"Sincerest apologies, Master Draco, but you have to get up now. You need to go see the Quidditch World Cup!"  
"Oh, go shut your ears in the oven, Mitzie; I'm up."  
Mitzie, the Malfoy's new house elf, scuttled off in her shabby towel.

Draco sniggered as he watched Harry Potter fall to the ground in a heap. Hermione was sprawled on top of Harry with Ron next to them. Honestly, some people just have no business using Portkeys. Hermione, though, didn't look stupid at all.  
"Hello, Weasley," he drawled. "Where are you watching the match? The forest outside the stadium?"  
"For your information, Malfoy, we have seats in the Top Box!" Hermione put a hand on Ron's arm, trying to quell his indignation as they got up.  
"Well, we have special invitations to sit with the Minister himself."  
"Now now Draco, don't brag. These folks aren't worth it." Draco reluctantly followed his sneering father, glancing back at Hermione trying to fix her hair. It was hopeless, but even though she looked a mess right now, Hermione was the smartest witch in their year. His father wasn't proud that a Mudblood had better grades than him, but he was the smartest wizard. If we had babies, they'd be really smart... but they'd be half-blood. And that would be simply unacceptable.

Cho

Meanwhile, Cho was eating breakfast at her home and talking to her mum. "Cho, sweetie, hurry up! We need to get to Diagon Alley to buy your school things."  
Cho sighed wearily as she shoveled the last of her cereal into her mouth. Her mum had been nagging her all week, telling her that she needed to get her textbooks early, study them, maybe even do a few practice tests; it was driving her mad. Her mum always wanted her to be the best at everything. Why, if she had her way, Cho wouldn't get a moment for herself. She would spend all her days studying and practicing Quidditch. Granted, that was fun, but once she was forced to practice twenty-four seven it became dull.  
"Coming, mum." she called after a moment. At least when she was at Hogwarts she couldn't be bossed around. Who knew, maybe she'd even find a nice guy. Cedric and been looking, and he definitely was attractive...  
The thought put a bounce into her step, and she left the house in a lighter mood. Maybe it would be a good day.

Krum

Krum pulled out of the dive, the Snitch clasped tightly in his hand. The stadium erupted into cheers. It was a spectacular, catch, but, "IRELAND WINS," bellowed Bagman. Krum landed, sullen. So maybe he was the best Seeker in the world. Was it really worth it if it didn't even matter in the long run? He watched as the Irish team went up to get the World Cup, even their fool of a seeker. Honestly, that dumb Seeker hadn't even heard of the Wronski Feint, and he's gushing blood all over the place. A fool... and we lost.  
**  
Harry  
**Harry ducked, narrowly avoiding being hit by a spell. He hated when people fired at random.  
"Harry, watch out!" yelled Ron right next to his ear. Harry flinched, diving out of the way and pulling both Ron and Hermione with him.  
"Blimey, that was a good one." said Ron.  
Hermione glared. "This isn't the time to complement your attackers' skills, Ron!"  
"Sorry."  
Harry was about to say something when a massive man barrelled past them, separating him from Ron and Hermione. "Hey! HEY!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. If he could only get their attention-  
He could barely see through the crowd now, only making out Ron and Hermione's faint figures. They appeared to be stumbling away from him, Hermione gripping Ron's arm. He couldn't even hear if they were calling for him or not.  
_Why does this always happen to me?_ he wondered vaguely as he ducked behind a tent. A curse cut a jagged mark into the dirt only a foot or two away from where he stood. Screams echoed through the campsite. Harry was about to go out and try to help when another curse flew by, grazing his head. Seconds later he blacked out.

* * *

It was dark. Dark and smelly. Harry raised his head slowly, realizing he was facedown in the dirt and what appeared to be someone's dropped eggnog. He had no idea why someone would drink eggnog when it wasn't Christmas, but it was there anyway.

He dusted dirt off his shirt and out of his eyes, sighing. Well, at least all the attackers were gone. Maybe he would get a rest for once.  
There was talking in the distance. "Hello? Ron? Hermione?" he asked hesitantly. Another soft noise, like a laugh. "Ummm... guys?"  
A figure stumbled across the clearing, hidden under a cover of darkness. Harry couldn't make out who it was, just that it looked like a man. He raised his head, glancing about. "Rose?" Harry thought he said.  
He saw another person come out of the shadows. Blonde hair was pulled back, and she smiled brightly at the man. "You go this way, I go that way, yeah?"  
The man nodded. "Yeah."  
The girl vanished, and the man raised his wand to the sky and muttered something under his breath. Suddenly a skull appeared in the sky, a snake unfurling from its mouth. He said something that sounded like, "That wasn't what I meant to do!" then Apparated away.


End file.
